Thursday, March 22, 2007

Disaster is an Addiction

(My apologies for not writing lately, I promise to try to try harder from now on)

For those regular readers of my blog you may also know what I mean by Exclaim! Readers Poll. (For those of you who don't, get to know Exclaim! it's awesome!). Every year Exclaim allows readers to imput their opinions on the best albums and films of the past year. For some reason I decided to give them my two cents worth on what I thought about the releases in 2006. I thought why not I have nothing better to do right now, I would love for people to read what my favorite albums of the past year were and I get a change to win a great prize by doing it. So I made my way to the computer and began my Readers Poll adventure.

After asking the obvious Exclaim! reader questions about your Exclaim! reading habits the form got down to what I was in this adventure for the music categories. They looked a little something like this:

Pop/Rock Album of the Year:
Avant Garde/Experimental Album of the Year:
Electronic Album of the Year:
Punk Album of the Year:
TV collection on DVD of the Year:
DVD reissue/collection of the Year:
Music DVD of the Year:
Soul/Reggae/Global Groove Album of the Year:
Folk/Country/Blues Album of the Year:
Hip-Hop Album of the Year:
Metal/Hardcore Album of the Year:
Film of the Year (movies that were theatrically released in 2005):


Of course Exclaim! knows that not everyone knows what all the releases for all genres are all the time so in order to qualify for a prize they only expect a minimum of three categories to be answered. Being somewhat keen I ended up answering 4 or 5 of course at this point I can't remember any of the answers I provided. I'm sure most of my answers are included somewhere in my Things That Made 2006 That Much Better post.


15-20 minutes later I am finished and it's time to pick my top three prizes. I can't remember exactly what the prize packs were but I'm sure they included a couple instrument packs (ie. Fender, Premier), a couple record label packs (ie. Epitaph, Relapse) and a couple TV/Movie packs (ie. Paramount, 20th Century Fox). After a lot of thinking and a little talking with J-Woo I decided on a couple prize packs.


I didn't give the readers poll a whole lot of thought after I submitted my answers, it was just nice to put my opinions out there. That was until I receive an e-mail from some guy called Cam Lindsay who claimed to be from Exclaim telling me "Congratulations! You've won a prize from Exclaim!'s Readers Poll" and "we just need a little more personal information". Hooray!! See, I am one of those people that don't win a god damn thing regardless of the number of contests etc. I enter. It seems it was my lucky day. So I replied with the information requested with no regard for the possibility that this very well could have been a scam. I was too excited about winning a prize to think about something so negative. This was back at the beginning of February and I assumed that in a few weeks I would be receiving my prize. A week came and went and then another and another. On February 24th I decided to e-mail this Cam fellow to see where the hell my free stuff was and expected a reply shortly after he received the e-mail. I think he went on vacation this week 'cause I didn't hear anything back and ended up forgetting about the prize all together.


A month goes by and I came home for lunch like I always do and there is a box proped up against my apartment door. My first thought is "what have I ordered off the internet lately" of course nothing came to mind. So I picked up the box and carried it inside. I wanted to build the suspense for a little longer so I took the time to take off my shoes and coat and start my dinner. I glanced at the box and right away notice the label, it read "Relapse Records". I obviously had picked the Relapse prize pack when I filled out the readers poll. Yay! FREE STUFF!! I wasted no time in tearing into the box to see what they had sent me. After having pieces of all that wonderful styrofoam sick to me and wading through layers of my favorite wrap, the bubble type I finally find my first prize. A pile of stickers and some pins. They're obviously pushing The End really hard because they included like 8 Elementary stickers compared to the other bands in which they only included 2. The second thing I spotted was a T-shirt, I'm already well aware that there is no way they included a shirt that would even come close to fitting me. It was a large, at least it will fit J-Woo. Next! I then find 4 7" singles from a couple bands that I've never heard of nor can barely read their name because of the metal font they used. We own a record player so at least I can listen to them. After looking at my new 7"s I dive into the box again to find 4 piles of CD's. Jackpot! There's like 16 CD's in there!! I almost shit my pants. Many of the bands I hadn't heard of but who knows my new favorite band might be hiding in there somewhere.


I decided not to open the CD's just yet. Because I'm such a great girl I decided to wait until J-Woo was home and we would open them together. J-Woo and I have this weird thing where we really enjoy opening new CD's and DVD's and there's hell to pay if one of us opens a new CD that was purchase by the other person. So just like that our night was all planned out, thanks to Relapse and Exclaim! Being able to open this many CD's is like every OCD's dream come true but proved to be more of a pain in the ass than pleasurable experience. For some reason Relapse likes to put their promotional stickers onto the actually CD case instead of the plastic. So because J-Woo is better at taking stickers off we decided that would be his job for the night and I would get to take the wrapper and sticker across the top off (He totally got the shitty end of this deal).


And so it began, hours of unwrapping my box of new CD's. I love opening CD's, I probably wouldn't had I not learned a neat little trick while working at Music World. Thanks Patrick! You thought I was going to tell the secret didn't you? Fat chance! If you really want to know you'll have to ask.


The excitement began but I'm sorry to say it was short lived. After 6 CD's or so it started to feel more like a chore. I can only imagine what it would have been like for those who hate opening CD's. It's hard enough for those who don't know the trick to get the wrapper started but when you do you feel like you're in the home stretch. Sadly that's not always the case because sometimes you get half the wrapper off and the rest stays in place and you can't just pull it off like a pillow case. You either have to wiggle it off or try to start another rip to get it off. I really don't recommend trying to open a CD while driving, this could prove to be very dangerous. This task takes all of ones concentration. And as if it weren't bad enough having impossible plastic to deal with you then have a sticker that covers three sides of the case. Arrggg! Of course thanks to Patrick yet again there is a simple way to get these off. Without this advice you're stuck with a sticker that is coming off in pieces. I've seen many people just cut the sticker with a knife to get into the CD and then the sticker remains a part of the CD for as long as that person owns it. I'm sure these are the same people who cut the stickers on their DVDs as well. I don't know what it is, maybe a little OCD but I can't stand having any sort of packaging left on my stuff. It's like the people that used to leave the wrapper on their VHS tapes and leave an opening at the bottom to get the tape out of. Really what is the point of this? My apologies, I've gotten slightly off track.


So needless to say I had difficulties with my task of opening the CD's. J-Woo had even more trouble than I. Sticker duty is the worst especially when the don't come off cleanly the first try. I've tried numerous tricks for this including cooking oil, and tape but neither trick has worked 100% of the time. I'm still searching for that perfect trick. Maybe I should call the ladies that host How Clean is Your House? they have all kinds of tricks.


Anyway the moral of the story is most of the bands on Relapse are dirty, dirty metal. :)


Hope you enjoyed my story.


Banana

Friday, March 2, 2007

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song

"But some of my friends are big people. They are famous, sensitive and talented
Their names are household words"

Those of you that keep up with my ramblings here might know that the title of my previous blog was taken from a line from a Squaredance Kid song, "A Song For Oak Point". For those of you that don't know, Squaredance Kid is my friend Jon Bowie and this blog is dedicated to him because he finally has a recording up on his myspace. I'm so proud and excited. I want the whole world to experience and enjoy his music as much as I do. So please check him out.

Luv Banana